I’ll begin with the Bouchez Cooking School Experience.  I didn’t know wher we were going or what we were doing, so I had no expectations.  When Chef Bouchez began to explain what our challenge was and gave us the menus we were going to prepare, I began to panic because  I don’t cook very often or vey well.   Idon’t know what blance meant; I have only made homedae pasta once and it was over 20 years ago and cheese baskets looked great, but seemed impossible. I was working very hard the entire time and didn’t pay much attention to what my teammates were doing, other than to ask if they needed help.  I barely looked at the other team. I don’t know how a professional chef keeps everything and everyone in the kitchen going at the same time successfully. I tried to follow directions and work at the same time.  We didn’t have much time to spare, but we worked great as a team.  I was certainly experiencing sensory overload. Laurie was a great team leader; she let us work independently while keeping an eye on everything and eveyone to make ceratin we were on task and folowling directions. I apparently made great pasta, but since I had no reference, I didn’t know if it was any good or not until the end of the competition. I was really excited when we won; I didn’t know how it was going to go.  Both teams worked very hard and had the same time, directions and ingredients.  I found it very interesting that both our main dishes and deserts tasted very different considering we made the same meals. I would particiapte in this event again in a minute.  It was stressful, but it was also lots of fun.

The Arthur Murray Dance competition was fun also.  I think I enjoyed the preparationfor the competition more than the competitionitself. I was definately more nervous going into the dance competition because I knew what we were getting ready to do. My fiance had oteh commitments that day, so dancing withoout him felt like a disadvantage because I had practiced with him and only practiced the night before with my “teacher partner”. We chose to dance to a slower song and chose a slower dance than many of the other Ironbrides.   I was anxious about whether or not my dance had enough in it. when the judges said they were looking for something fun and daring I knew that my dance was less than what they wanted and I was a bit defalted before we began.  I felt like I had t wo strikes against me.  I liked my dance and I thought I did well, but again my dance didn’t fit what the judges were looking for. So, the lessons were more fun than the competitionand we really enjoyed learning our dance together; we did it more for our dance and less for the competition. I would take more lessons and may enter anothe dance competition.  If I were to enter anotehr competition, I would ask more questions regarding the criterionfor winning.  I think it would have been better if we each did both a slow and fast dance or all slow or all wuick dances.  Then again,we are far more likely to use what we learned at other weddings and events than if we had learned a quick fun dance for the competition, so all is well that ends well.

We really enjoyed our lessons at The Arthur Murray Dance Studio.  We are far more confident then when we started and we learn a great new dance, the foxy. I think Francis enjoyed it too; we had a few challenges along the way.  Chadler, out teacher is excellent.  He broke down the steps and made them easy to understand.  I have learned how to turn and promenade and would absolutely recommend dancing lessons to anyone.  I wasn’t sure how intense the lessons were going to be; they were challenging, but not to tough. I am uncertain as to whether or not we will continue right now.  We may continue later.  We are very busy now with work and wedding planning, so we will have to take a break for now.  Fred and Ginger, not quite, but with a few more lessons we may have been able to appear on the Laurence Welk Show.

I loved watching that program when I was a young girl and always wanted to go on the show.  Little did I kn0w that many of the original cast were probably in wheel chairs long before I  learned how to dance. As I mentioned ealier my parents danced fabulously together.  By the time I remember them dancing, they had probably been dancing together for over a decade; they had lots of practice.  Even at six, there is something wonderfully romantic about watching one’s parents dancing and thinking that they could give Fred and Ginger a run for their money.

1. Do a little research and tell me the details in the planning process…whose role is it, etc…

Visting a rodeo and a cattle ranch would also be a lot of fun. We could produce our own cityslickers movie.

Out Thailand honeymoon would cost roughly $6,000 for our flights and accommodations for 15 days.  Food in  is very cheap. A coffee costs less than one dollar and a gourmet meal can cost less than $10.00, so we could budget less than $40.00 per day or roughly $590.00 for our two week stay. Taxis are less than $10.00 for a 5k ride and a massage is roughly $7.00.  A rental apartment for one month is roughly $600.00 per month.  So including everything ($6.00 manicures too), we could go to Thailand for less than $7,500 for all expenses.

Wyoming is closer and the flights are cheaper, but food and everything is more expensive. An 8 day pack trip with all expenses including food, cabins  and our horses is $5,000.  A hotel at Yellowstone is at least $180.00 per night, so 5 nights would be $900.00 that olny includes breakfast. Two nights of additional hotels on the road would be another $300.00. Flights are $1,200.00 and food for the remaining 7 days would run between $75 and $100 per day.  So, the grand total for Wyoming is $8,200.oo. HMMMMMM……bears or temples, difficult decision

I chose to answer two questions this week because to me they are related. Asking me how much Francis has “injected” himself into the wedding planning seems as if the wedding planning is up to the bride and not a joint venture between two people. We have planned just about everything together from the music and food to the colors we will use to decorate and wedding party attire. I really believe that a bride and groom should plan the wedding together to reflect their styles and personalities.  The details that aren’t important can be made by one person, but either the bride or groom should have the freedom to comment and have input on any details he or she chooses. We learned that we both cared about details we thought we wouldn’t and didn’t care about specifics that the other did. Very few things have been done to accommodate Francis specifically, but we have discussed almost every detail and have agreed on most. We are lucky that we both want a traditional ceremony and reception with good music and good food and that neither of us had a vision of what we wanted prior to our engagement.

Another reason that I think we discuss the wedding details it because, well we talk about everything.  It isn’t like we twitter each other every move, but we generally make decisions together and do it pretty well.  I think our biggest “discussion” regarding the wedding details was what invitations to get. Initially, what I liked, he didn’t and vice versa. At one point he commented that his giving input was a farce because it didn’t matter anyway.  I assured him I wanted his opinion.  I may not use his opinion to sway my decisions, but I want his input anyway; I mean, I don’t want him to HATE anything.  When I am passionate and or very excited, I can become very intense and way too fussy about details. That combined with liking to make the (one) correct decision has caused me pain on occasion. I decided early in this process that there is more than one correct answer for most things when planning a wedding and that colors matching exactly wasn’t that important.  I never noticed it at anyone’s wedding—why would anyone notice at mine?  I am concerned about things running smoothly more than I am that things match.  I don’t want to forget things like the marriage certificate, my name as I say my vows, to mail the invitations, etc.  I had a bad dream the other night that I left the ceremony and forgot to go to the reception.  I went home and had tea with my mother and MOH.  Apparently, Francis went to the reception.  By the time I remembered and ran to the reception, and I mean bolted on foot from my mother’s, guests were leaving.  They has a great time and were all wondering what happened to me.  Any read into dreams?  I am sure this is the first of many.

Do you think the groom and his groomsmen should be able to autonomously select their colors, manner of dress for the wedding?  Why or why not?

I think that the groom and bride should work together on groomsmen attire.  I think it would look pretty silly if the bridesmaids were wearing long formal gowns and the groomsmen showed up in flip flops and floral beach shirts, then again if that reflected the style of the bride and groom, maybe it wouldn’t. 

What is strange to me is that Francis isn’t supposed to see my dress before the wedding. I understand the tradition, and I like it, it is just odd to hide it from him. I feel like my dress is such a big decision and reflects the style of the wedding, so it is a bit weird that I am not getting his opinion.  He gets mine, but I don’t get to have his—weird.

In short, I would plan a family/friend reunion and let everyone experience the cultural and beauty of the West of Ireland. In particular I would show them where Francis lived as a child , and incidentally my mother grew up 12 miles away, and then, if time permitted, I would bring them to Achill Island where my father spent his childhood.

I would love to get our close family and friends together for this kind of reunion; there is something special about experiencing where someone grew up; it tells so much about someone.

I would include a trip around Leitrim and Sligo and we could visit William Butler Yeats’ grave and home and birthplace, Parks Castle and O’Donnell’s Rock where one can see five counties on a clear day.  

Or not………..

If money were an issue, and I were being more practical, I would have everyone meet up at Castle Island for a picnic lunch/dinner and set up horseshoes, bocce, and maybe a dj or have some friends and family bring their music. I have family members that play guitar, the accordian, the piano (okay hard to transport), and the fiddle. It sounds dangerously like a country dance with square dancing and all, but then again, irish folk dancing isn’t so different and when my family gets together,people dance, sing (sometimes badly) and place instruments. What is wonderful to me is that id someone know the words to any song and is willing to sing it, he or she is accepted for it.  We sometimes aren’t very icky about the tune, but we like those who jump in and sing along. An evening at Castle Island would not be complete without a tour of the inside of the castle which was originally Fort Independence and used until the turn of 19th Century by US troops. Edgar Alan Poe was stationed there and based his famous short story “The Cask of Amontillado” on events that alleged happened there while he was serving his term. For those who haven’t read the story, a man was buried alive in his famous story and supposedly one soldier was buried by another.  Many think the story was based on folklore, but no so long ago, human remains were found between the walls of the fort when construction crews were renovating.     SPOOKY!!!

An ice cream by the water would be the perfect way to end the evening. Mint chocolate chip, I think.

This week’s question is very easy to answer. Children in a family impact anything and everything from finances to personal time. Financially, children are very expensive.  Just outfitting the home with essentials such as a crib, bottle, diapers, rash creams, etc adds up very quickly. And since, most children like to eat, the grocery bill skyrocket immediately.

Another challenge is the fact the one’s life is never hers again. Babies and children demand time, attention and love.  Not only will a couple have less time for the outside world, they have less time to focus on just each other.

That said, every parent I know says that he/she didn’t know that he/she could love anyone as much as he or she loves his/her children. So the biggest impact is the complicated feelings of loving a child while knowing and feeling overwhelmed with the responsibility of protecting, teaching, and providing for that child.  

A good friend commented once that she was very happy that she had no questions regarding her love for her husband and that they had a solid foundation in their marriage because the first year of having a child left them very little time for themselves. Another friend told me that joint decision making regarding children is very difficult. She encouraged having good communication techniques in place because emotions will run very high when making decisions on everything from childcare to schools and what sports children will play.

Having no children, I can only imagine the impact children bring to a marriage. How ever I also imagine that ideas reality are very different.

My father used to work the 3pm-11pm shift and was off Thursdays and Fridays. Almost every Thursday and Friday night during the summer we would BBQ in the backyard.  We were allowed to play with our friends until the street lights came on,or until we heard my father’s whistle. We would sit in the backyard and beg my father to take us to Dairy Queen for dessert. Torturing us, he would never relent until the last minute.  Then, the entire family would hop in the car and have the same discussion as always, “what will you get?”.  Our choices were simple: vanilla, chocolate, or a mixed swirl–no dip because it falls off and causes a mess.

With friends we’d play Old Lady Witch Are You Coming Out Tonight as well as Red Light Green Light. When we got a little older, at ten or twelve we played kick the can, relievio, and the girls began to try our skills at Double Dutch jump roping.  Our lives were very simple, but I enjoyed summer immensely.  My father was a beach lover, so many days we would head off to a local Boston Harbor Beach such as Malibu on Morrissey Boulevard in Dorchester or Carson Beach in South Boston until he had to go to work.  I can still see him hanging his swimming trunks on the side view mirror so that they would dry on the way home. (wicked embarrassing for a 13 year old girl)  On special days we would go to Fantastic Beach, known to everyone else as Nantasket.  

Summer also included camping with my cousins at Weirs Beach in NH, my parents renting a cottage in Marshfield, or the ultimate–a family trip to Ireland for 6 weeks.  Ultimate only holds when the sun was shining. We spent 6 weeks in the rain one year.

I still love to go to the beach, and I can’t burn my feet on the hot sand without thinking of my father and our family trips. A good friend reminded me recently of a time my father packed way too many of us in his car and carted us off to a local beach.  All that  we needed to be happy was water, a few friends, peanut butter, jelly and sand sandwiches, and a hot, cheap soda that was wrapped in tin foil.

As a teacher, I have spent the last few summers teaching summer school or taking classes in July, and more often than not in August I have gone on a summer holiday. I would like to spend more time at the beach, read more books, and make time to visit with friends i haven’t seen in a while. 

As my marriage approaches and I begin a new phase of life, I hope that I can mimic for my children the happy memories my parents gave us as children.

I can’t begin to imagine how winning the lottery would change my life; change is difficult for me, so I would have to think about it before collecting my winnings. The first thing I would do is  find a good accountant!!

I don’t know if I would continue to work in my current job.  After paying off my bills and my mortgage, I would invest money for my retirement and take care of my loved ones in different ways.

A cause that is close to my heart is reading.  I would invest money or begin a foundation that enabled people who can not decode (sound out words) the ability to learn to do so.  I strongly believe that reading is a skill that everyone needs to be successful in life.  Many people due to disability, economics, or other issues have not been taught to read in a manner that best suits them.  I would love to operate a center that enabled this problem to be curbed.  As a teacher, I have seen so many young, intelligent, talented students who lack the reading skills they need to be successful.  For many of these students, a phonics based reading program could change their lives.  Education is complicated, and I don’t pretend to have ALL of the answers, but with my winnings, I would definitely donate fund to improving this huge public health issue.

Most things, given time and perspective, aren’t as bad as they seem. I usually feel down when I am worried about something that hasn’t yet occurred. I  usually try and ask myself what the worst case scenario is, how likely that is to happen, and usually I can talk myself out of my being down. 

Talking to a good friend always helps me get perspective.  Once I talk out my worries, fears,or feelings, I usually feel better. I also find solace in a good book. Reading has always allowed me to escape and step away from my feelings for a bit.

Choosing an underdog story is difficult.  If I had to choose, I pick the story of “Life is Beautiful”.  The movie depicts a Italian Jew who is in a German concentration camp.  He does everything in his power to entertain his young son in an attempt to shelter from his son the true horror in which they are living. The main character of the story refuses to give in to his hopelessness because he wants to make his son’s life as happy as he can. The movie portrays the resiliency of the the human spirit and how ultimately, a person is in charge of his or her own attitude and how he/she sees the world.

I was devastated when I got to college and realized that my family’s tradition of dropping whatever we were doing to waltz to whatever “great” song came on the nine hour long “Irish Hour” wasn’t normal.  I have such fond memories of attending Irish fundraisers and dancing with my family. 

I am happy to report that my fiance is a dancer and although I am not certain where he learned, I suspect that it was from his parents in the living room.

 My favorites dances would be any that I learned from my parents including the waltz, polka, and my more recent  favorite,  ”the swing”.  I have songs that when played,  I can’t sit and listen. 

According to wikipedia there are several types of ballroom dance including:

International Style includes:

Slow Waltz - Tango - Viennese Waltz - Slow Foxtrot - Quickstep

 International Latin includes:

Cha Cha - Samba - Rumba - Paso Doble - Jive

American Style

American Smooth

Waltz - Tango - Foxtrot - Viennese Waltz

American Rhythm

Cha Cha - Rumba - East Coast Swing - Bolero - Mambo

My fiance, francis will dance with me at weddings, etc.  I am not sure that he love to dance, but I know that he can and he will, which is nice.