Our Wedding

Your groom: How much has he injected himself into wedding decisions?  How much liberty should he feel to influence wedding decisions? What decisions have been made to accommodate his choices?

I chose to answer two questions this week because to me they are related. Asking me how much Francis has “injected” himself into the wedding planning seems as if the wedding planning is up to the bride and not a joint venture between two people. We have planned just about everything together from the music and food to the colors we will use to decorate and wedding party attire. I really believe that a bride and groom should plan the wedding together to reflect their styles and personalities.  The details that aren’t important can be made by one person, but either the bride or groom should have the freedom to comment and have input on any details he or she chooses. We learned that we both cared about details we thought we wouldn’t and didn’t care about specifics that the other did. Very few things have been done to accommodate Francis specifically, but we have discussed almost every detail and have agreed on most. We are lucky that we both want a traditional ceremony and reception with good music and good food and that neither of us had a vision of what we wanted prior to our engagement.

Another reason that I think we discuss the wedding details it because, well we talk about everything.  It isn’t like we twitter each other every move, but we generally make decisions together and do it pretty well.  I think our biggest “discussion” regarding the wedding details was what invitations to get. Initially, what I liked, he didn’t and vice versa. At one point he commented that his giving input was a farce because it didn’t matter anyway.  I assured him I wanted his opinion.  I may not use his opinion to sway my decisions, but I want his input anyway; I mean, I don’t want him to HATE anything.  When I am passionate and or very excited, I can become very intense and way too fussy about details. That combined with liking to make the (one) correct decision has caused me pain on occasion. I decided early in this process that there is more than one correct answer for most things when planning a wedding and that colors matching exactly wasn’t that important.  I never noticed it at anyone’s wedding—why would anyone notice at mine?  I am concerned about things running smoothly more than I am that things match.  I don’t want to forget things like the marriage certificate, my name as I say my vows, to mail the invitations, etc.  I had a bad dream the other night that I left the ceremony and forgot to go to the reception.  I went home and had tea with my mother and MOH.  Apparently, Francis went to the reception.  By the time I remembered and ran to the reception, and I mean bolted on foot from my mother’s, guests were leaving.  They has a great time and were all wondering what happened to me.  Any read into dreams?  I am sure this is the first of many.

 

Do you think the groom and his groomsmen should be able to autonomously select their colors, manner of dress for the wedding?  Why or why not?

I think that the groom and bride should work together on groomsmen attire.  I think it would look pretty silly if the bridesmaids were wearing long formal gowns and the groomsmen showed up in flip flops and floral beach shirts, then again if that reflected the style of the bride and groom, maybe it wouldn’t. 

What is strange to me is that Francis isn’t supposed to see my dress before the wedding. I understand the tradition, and I like it, it is just odd to hide it from him. I feel like my dress is such a big decision and reflects the style of the wedding, so it is a bit weird that I am not getting his opinion.  He gets mine, but I don’t get to have his—weird.

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